Many eras ago, before children and when I was quite a bit slimmer, I was all for the short skirts and belly button display. I loved the feeling it gave me to dress how I wanted. I felt powerful.
I was always shamed for it though. I remember feeling a million dollars in a nautical style dress one evening, as I met up with my boyfriend at his friend's house. The comment from his cousin, "did you find that one on a street corner?" cut deep. It still does. But, I'll point out that, as I'm still currently with said boyfriend almost 20 years later and exploring marriage ideas.. the comment didn't achieve it's intended purpose 😈.
More recently, I managed to shift some baby weight after having my daughter. My confidence grew. Back into my little plaid skirts I went. But if I told you the ways people tried to shame me for those skirts, you'd need a brown paper bag to breathe into.
After having my latest baby, I'm the biggest I've ever been. I'd settled into the mum niche. Pulling on my tunic top and "sock trainers" every morning, I feel frumpy. My self esteem is at it's lowest. I look in the mirror and I see... wrinkles, tired skin.. sad eyes.
So you'd be surprised to know that a comment on one of my photos yesterday really got me thinking.
The domonatrix seamstress.
Obviously I am not a domonatrix, as much as I wish I was 👀. But something about this comment really made me smile. Perhaps it was the feeling of power it evoked? Maybe the sexiness associated with that word? I'm not really sure, but I will be exoring the idea more.
No, I won't be becoming a domonatrix. However if you'd like me to slap your bottom and call you Charlie.. get in touch. I'm possibly open to offers 😉.
In all seriousness, the inky darkness and the fact I do love my sewing machine ALOT, is pulling me into a direction I didn't know existed. The garden of shadows collection of dolls is coming and they'll house your beautiful memories of loved ones perfectly, as you'd expect. But these dolls are going to also be inspiring, powerful and maybe a bit dark too. Yes, my brain is whirring with ideas. Let's find a way to get what I do making us all feeling a tad more confident. 🕯
Don't like it? Tough, I'm doing it anyway. Because you know, I'm a domonatrix now. 😈